Signs
by SephyInABox
Summary: Goku faces a new enemy. This one, though, is a teeny bit different from his other encounters. And with the help of a butt ugly cop, he shall be victorious... I think. He also discovers a new training method! [ONE-SHOT]


Well, what can I say. I was bored one day and I stumbled upon this site with all these weird yet amusing signs. I hope you enjoy this. My friends sure did 'cause I sent this to them first before I posted it on Anywho… please review!

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**Signs**

One day, Goku was walking down the street, minding his own business. Then, a huge explosion occurred in the outskirts of the city. Goku, being the hopelessly absent-minded hero (in no relation to the German (or was it Irish) sandwich), quickly flew over to the site of the explosion.

_What the..._ Goku thought to himself as he scanned the area for survivors. Suddenly, a shadow appeared behind him. Goku made haste and attempted an energy blast at whoever was stupid enough to sneak up behind a Saiyan and piss him off. Notice I said "attempted." Therefore, that usually means that... he missed and got his ass kicked by the... thing.

"Show yourself you... you... inexperienced butt-wipe!" Goku yelled at his opponent. The shadow zoomed around Goku, making the Saiyan quite dizzy and even more confused than ever.

"That... trick... won't... Hey! I can see my feet..." After looks at watch 12 minutes of making Goku just a tad bit more... off, the shadow showed it's true form.

"I am the wind in the sky. I am the rain on your silver platter. I am the milk in your goat. I stand for... standing. I cough when I'm sick. I spit at fire hydrants. I do the chicken dance quite well. I put up my pinky when I drink tea. I--"

Goku gets a little annoyed at the shadow's bragging. _I can cough when I'm sick too!_ he thought.

"I am the one, the only... GREAT SAIYAMAN!" the shadow yelled.

Goku looked at the figure in the sky, dumbfounded. "Gohan?! Are you really...?"

"No, I'm not," said the shadow, "I can't back that up."

"Oh... well... how about some sushi?"

"Sure, but we gotta fight, people are looking." the shadow said as he pointed at the audience (us). Goku turned around and stared at us. He tilted his head to the side and put on his best confused face, literally. The shadow lowered himself to the ground. Goku followed suit.

"Ok, we'll fight, but I warn you. I won't go easy on you just because you're... hey, you're not my son!"

"No shitake mushrooms! Hey, what the... shitake mushrooms... AHHHHHH!" The shadow screamed (hence the AHHHHH part) and looked quite constipated.

"Excuse me sir," a calm yet firm voice said, "you're breaking a law. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to give you a ticket." The shadow turned around and came face to face with a butt ugly cop. The cop pointed to his left, and sure enough, there was a sign that read "No Pooping: Here to Corner."

"Blast it! I really gotta go though," the shadow whined.

"Just doin' my job sir," the officer said plainly.

"Darn it!" the shadow stomped his foot. Goku, observing the scene, cracked a smile and began powering up himself. He made sure to have great self control (sometimes, one cannot control the farts forces of nature), a Saiyaman/Ginyu Force pose, and scream like a girl for he did not want to be caught getting constipated by the butt ugly cop.

"Heh, heh, heh. I'm almost there..." Goku whispered.

"Whaddya mean you're almost there? We're doing all the work here," a tiny squeaky voice announced. Goku looked around. He was quite confused for he saw nothing but flying rocks. "Hello! That's us! Geez, in almost every episode, we always have to be floating and flying and smashing into stuff. Alls you peoples gotta dos is scream and yells like a sissy! I want my lawyer!" one of the tiny, microscopic, incredibly small BANG OW! HEY, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?! "You stupid moose! I'm right freakin' here! You think I can't hear your damn adjectives?!" Oh. Sorry, didn't see you there. "WHY I OUGHTTA..." the army of flying rocks give chase... at me... damn, why the hell am I still here? I'm being chased by a herd of narrator-bashing flying rocks! Narrate your own damn story!

I flew off, trying to... DAMN IT! I'M STILL NARRATING! AHHHHHH!

** 32 minutes later... **

I came back to the battle site. There, I saw Goku and the shadow having some sushi and talking about the weather. Goku was the first to notice me and went back to where he was before rocks attacked me. The shadow did the same. We're back in business.

Goku continued to power up. He is currently a Super Saiyan 3. If he goes any higher, he'll turn into a giant golden monkey and have the destructive power of a giant golden monkey that has really bad breath and can destroy things by talking to them.

Sure enough, our sandwich (hero) turned into a giant golden monkey. Goku opened his mouth, insert cricket noise here. Then, as if cued, he turned back to normal size. This time, he was covered in ketchup!

"Actually, it's hair," Goku corrected. Ok, it's hair. But it's freakin' red!

Goku continued to scream and grunt and stuff. That is, until he got a tap on the shoulder.

"Excuse me sir," the butt ugly cop said, " you're breaking the law. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to give you a ticket." The cop pointed to his butt. There, a sign that read "No Standing by Potty" could be seen.

"Darn it! I was so close! Ok, I'll move." and he moved. There, he continued powering up while the shadow continued standing there doing nothing with his precious time in which he could've used to kill or at least badly injure the Super Saiyan. Again, Goku felt another tap on his shoulder.

"Excuse me sir," said you-know-who, " but you're breaking yet another law." The officer pointed to the bottom of his shoe. There was a sign that said "Ki Limit: Super Saiyan 4."

Goku sighed, "Oh, fine. It's the law, what can I do." Goku prepared his infamous Kamehameha wave. "Ka-me-ha-me-h-ey don't touch me there!"

The officer looked... blah. "Well excuse me Mr. Hot Pants. You're breaking another law."

"Another one?! How many of these laws are there?!" Goku anxiously questioned.

"I don't know. I lost count on some number." The butt ugly cop once again pointed to a sign. This time, it was in his mouth. It read "No Kamehameha on Green."

The shadow stood nearby and took in the scene. Tears filled his eyes as he burst out laughing his heart out. "Ha, ha, ha! The "Great Goku" is being beat down by some butt ugly cop! He, he, ha, ha, har, har!"

Goku did not like being laughed at like that. Plus, he was a Super Saiyan 4 so he did not have full control of himself just yet. The cop did not liked being called butt ugly (except by the narrator, I have a contract to prove it). They both powered up an enormous energy blast and destroyed the shadow. Goku powered down to normal.

"O-k. So... ya wanna barbecue?" Goku asked the officer.

"No, I cannot. I must leave you. There are other people's lives that need a butt ugly cop to keep justice in. Fare thee well." With that, the cop vanished without a trace.

"Well, bye," Goku waved. _Gee, I'm hungry_, the appetite on legs thought, _I could eat a whole building!_ He looked at his environment and picked up a piece of a building. _I wonder why people can't eat this stuff. Just because it's hard, doesn't mean it isn't edible._ With that, he stuffed the thing in his mouth and desperately tried to chew.

"Hey! This could be a new training method! It can help you chew better!" Goku screamed with joy with a mouth full of concrete. He flew home to his wife and kids to tell them of his adventures and his newly discovered meal: concrete.

**The End**

So, how did you like it? I didn't think I would end up writing a story for this. I just wanted to show my friends the funny signs. Anyway, I don't know the site URL but if you go to and go to "Links" and then check the links out, you should be able to find a site called "Southern City." That site is hilarious! Please review and tell me what you think of my story!


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